Saturday
Mar052011

a room with a view. 

i can't help but think how many things would be different for me had i recognized the reality of a situation while it was happening-instead i getting that after the fact a-ha moment. life is about learning, not making the same mistakes twice and paying forward the wisdom you've aquired from your "reality."

i find myself giving advice to my friends all the time, my life experiences have led me to know a lot about a lot. jobs, relationships, friendship, cooking, the arts, sports, music and the list goes on and on. i'm the type of person who gives advice based upon what i've undergone. i've always felt that if i can give personal analogies, my words of wisdom can be communicated much more effectively. who wants to hear someone telling them what to do when you feel they can't relate? i get annoyed by the fact i seem to have a story for everything and often feel as though i may come across as a know-it-all but i'm willing to take that chance if it means that my words help someone through a situation. however, i'm also a believer that sometimes you just need to fall back and let the people you care about make their own mistakes. 

this photo was taken from the elliptical machine at the gym. i stared at this view and got lost in my thoughts manifesting my next move. as i looked out at tokyo, i reflected on what i've gone through to get to the life i'm living now, it was once something from my wildest dreams. crazy how that works out. for every car that drove by, every train full of passengers and every window in every building in sight, there was someone on the pursuit of their dreams. on the daily i push people toward their potential, reminding them we are all on our own path towards what's meant for us. i worry that sometimes i get so caught up in enlightening others that i lose energy in motivating myself. 

there is a thin line between supporting others, distracting yourself from your own possibilities and flat out self sabotage. they say hindsight is 20/20 and perspective from the outside looking in gives you the whole picture, but there's something to be said about taking your own advice.

Saturday
Feb262011

celebrate good times. c'mon  

ironically kool and the gangs "celebration" was the 1st "jazz funk" dance i ever did, the costume was a white leotard, blue vest and skirt set with cowboy hat to match...dont ask, but i'm pretty sure it was due to the solid 8-count of lassoing. i won every talent show in grade school with it and i still remember almost all of the choreography. whats even more ironic is we end every Tokyo Apache game with it. crazy how the same song can follow you you're entire dance career. 

last nite was the best "celebration" i've had since moving to tokyo. celebrating life, friendship, accomplishments and even the bad times-truthfully most of what we consider to be our worst moments are what lead us to our best ones. 

my time in tokyo has opened my eyes to how i can be the best destiney bleu. a better friend, daughter, dancer, leader and overall inspiration. next month my mom, and some of my best friends will be venturing to the far east to celebrate my where my life has taken me. i can't even begin to express the anticipation. 

Thursday
Feb242011

never underestimate the power of good conversation. 

today was the first day in weeks when i didn't have anywhere to be, i didn't even set my alarm. i slept good, and most importantly--i slept in! i ventured out with my kimmy cakes to stock up on groceries, took in the scenery and fresh air and returned home to clean dishes, my bed made, folded laundry and a new outlook. i've always felt a clean home can do wonders for productivity and creativity. gotta love thursdays-housekeeper day!

in addition to my so fresh-so clean surroundings, i was on a high from two brilliant conversations that i had with new friends. its crazy how having a meaningful conversation with someone can give you a whole new perspective on the battles you have in your mind, someone who hasn't heard everything you need to get off your chest and outta your head. two people i barely even knew two months ago gave me the courage, insight and more importantly helped me feel a little less crazy. they reminded me of all the things i want to accomplish, and lifted the fog of self-doubt and frustration. 

they say "to have a friend is to be a friend" i pride myself on being there for people when they need me, one of my goals in life is to help people understand what it means to be a friend. more times than not i play the role that i'm a beast and that i have it all handled but there comes a time when i crumble and the negativity takes over...then it all comes full circle, that someone to hold my hand and lead me to the light with the courage to face another day and tackle what's in front of me. 

i went from feeling like my world was crashing around me to spending 12 solid hours with my boyfriend Bernie MacPro taking on the world one email/website at a time with no fear in sight. now the only thing that is a blur is all the work i just put in for destiney bleu the brand. 

be there for someone today. you never know who may to need to hear "you can do it-i know you can"  

thank you. you know who you are. 

xoxo

Sunday
Feb062011

best thing i never said.

as we approach the chocolate, cards, candy coated hearts holiday its only natural to think about long lost loves.

im blessed to have had people come along that have planted a seed in my heart for the better, they've taught me what a real connection is, what true friendship is about-more importantly they have showed me what i deserve but most importantly WHO doesn't deserve me. 

there's so many things i used to want to say so that certain someone would see what their actions were doing to me and how it made me hurt-but i realize now they knew all along and did it anyway.

i was a dumb girl. i admit it. but im older, wiser, using my energy thats free on M to the E.

it's so loud inside my head with words that i should've said
as i drown in my regrets i can't take back the words i never said
sometimes i'm like the only person i feel safe to tell it to
i'm locked inside a cell in me, i know that theres a jail in you. 

-Lupe Fiasco

lupe fiasco ft skylar grey "words i never said" on itunes

Lupe's album "lasers" on sale March 8th! 

Wednesday
Feb022011

be bold.

life is hard + it's not always fair + it doesn't always go your way but....drumroll please.....THAT is life as we know it. sometimes the "boo-why me" moments supersede the "yay me" ones and that's where i'm at. mentally atleast. nothing new, been here done this before many of times and i always make it out ok, always will. a slice of humble pie with enlightenment on top is usually what i need served to me to put me in check. reality check. its vital for growth. they say knowledge is power and what you do with that knowledge gives you the power to take on anything life throws at you. putting the bull$hit aside, grabbing life by the horns and tackling anything that comes your way is the only way. you aren't ever going to get something you can't handle-the HOW you handle it is key. i may not be going out on auditions everyday like i had hoped and sitting on the beaches of sunny LA with my bestest friends-but the experience i have in front of me is one that can't be bought, can't be taught, its one that you can only dream about-except for me its my real life. can't always get what i want when i want it, sometimes you have to take what you need THEN you get what you want. everytime.