goal. tending.

as my "speaking into existence" lists continue to grow into real life, ive challenged myself to a new social experiment much like the one in my "dreamer vs. visionary" entry; you can see it here. in the blog i encouraged my readers make a portable vision board because half the battle is getting your dreams out of our head and into the universe. anyone who knows me knows that i live in my own [big idea] world, i dont know how people do that regular way of life, but that's not for me to judge. ive had people tell me i should keep some ideas for myself + sell the ones im not as passionate about because there's no way i could ever initiate + follow through on even half of them. i borderline agree. the problem with my me is not only do i lose track of my ideas in my mind, i often lose track of the idea all together...until i see it. thus the "destiney bleu's big idea" list. 

write ideas down as they come to you.

you can use a scratch pad, back of a receipt or bank deposit slip, or better yet the "notes" in your phone so know exactly where to write/find your ideas. every, i mean every, every, every, time you have an idea write it down. don't try to remember, you will forget a good % i don't care how impeccable you think your memory is. its going to take discipline + it will get overwhelming, but you will be blown away when you witness the results. 

before bed revisit the list.

go through and elaborate. add notes of inspiration, links, anything that gives a bit more description so you can keep the ideas fresh in your mind, and add depth to them to help you better visualize them. revisit the list as many times as you are inspired to.

set aside atleast an hour for the next day.

i set an alarm when i know ill be free + make myself stick to it. no twitter, no facebook, none of those sites that will most likely obsolete just taking up [my]space in a few years. in the amount of time we waste scrolling timelines + reading mentions + retweets + statuses we could could of easily sent out a letter of interest to a potential investor in reference to our dream clothing line...okay okay so that's me talking to me, but you get what im saying. isn't your future worth a few minutes of time invested in looking deeper into our imaginations to find our biggest hopes + wishes + dreams? 

use 5 minutes to look over list + narrow down atleast 2 ideas you want to devote time to.  

devote atleast 30 minutes to each idea. 

if you pick more than 2 ideas per day, use your judgement on how much time you spend devoted to each idea. make sure its enough to make an impact, but not too much to scatter your brain. fully focus on each idea individually. 

repeat daily for a week.

through the week take on as many ideas as you are driven to, you don't even have to work on the same idea(s) each day. let your passion be your guide. don't take on more than you can handle, every dream deserves undivided attention. you will get distracted sometimes + if/when that happens put your focus somewhere that deserves your attention, like your goals. 

the amazing thing about this experiment is that you don't have to complete everything on the list. some ideas will get through and score, some wont, the ultimate goal in this is that you have a field full of ideas [on paper] to choose from in the future. never underestimate the power of having a pocketful of ideas, talk about a field of dreams. 


sideline story

a good friend of mine gave me the nickname "coach bleu" because of my ability to motivate + inspire my friends to take the necessary actions to live their potential. ive lived (literally) through alot leaving me with a unique perspective allowing me to relate to a good bit of situations. aside from that, i have the imagination of an 11 year old, i have ideas for days so something i say usually sparks their passion. i do have to say that a friend taught me the technique of communicating great advice, he has the ability to activate a part of my brain that takes immediate action. i only listen to people i genuinely trust and he reminds me of who i am + what my real motivations are. the same goes for my friends, most of my advice comes from my experience of putting in work trying to make the team figuratively + literally. "know it all" tendencies aside, i love to pay forward my wisdom aka my recipe towards success as i would like to believe.

today my roomie told me that she was proud of herself for putting in the work, of course my first thought was to hit her with the "toldya so" but i had the overwhelming feeling of being proud of her too. we talk daily about our goals + the actions we are going to take towards them, she recognizes my drive + follow through. for the last week ive seen her go hard in the paint with almost immediate results, which in turn inspires + motivates me and reminds me that i am living my purpose by being that coach that gives you a little nudge to keep your head in the game. my reward is seeing the people on my team reach their goals.

"i wish somebody made guidelines, on how to get up off the sidelines." j cole

yesterday J Cole's first album dropped, his music got me through my hardest times in Tokyo when i was so far away from the disctractions of rest of the world. i was forced into figuring out who the heck i am and what impact i wanted to make on this world. something that means something, something with a purpose. in a day + age where lyrics are about how many hoes or how much money someone has its refershing to hear someone speak of whats real. paying back sallie mae + chasing big dreams + not trusting your own friends + remembering where you come from. J Cole's "Sideline Story" can be purchsed here on itunes.

you either watch it happen play by play or make the plays. do you want to sit on the side watching the action or be a part of it? you decide.


new year revolution.

as the next year of my life has arrived, i've set some new standards to live by. two years ago i said i'd never take a job or gig that wasn't in the direction of my career + id move to LA in the next year. i have followed through no questions asked.  

this year im working on me from the inside, tackling the workings of my mind + brain. it's time for some selective erasing + intentional reprogramming. revolution is defined as a sudden, complete or marked change in something. mark my words. my revolution has officially begun.


1. what's done is done. move on. 

2. do not rate my success based on other's. perception is reality.

3. surround myself by those who genuinely value + support me.

4. work on communication + miscommunication issues. 

5. stop giving people permission to hurt me. im smart. i know better. 

6. just because i can handle alot. doesn't mean i have to. set boundaries.

7. speak up for myself...but work on my delivery. 

8. don't be surprised when people do what they always do. 

9. people do what you let them. never fails.

10. when in doubt. remind myself of who + what my real motivations are. 

11. stop tryin to spare other's feelings +make my own feelings a priority. 

12. stop taking things personal. not everyone is against me. 

13. don't be a desperate debbie, but stop being afraid to approach guys.

14. beware of emotionally unavailable men. 

15. always recognize fear for what it is. False Evidence Appearing Real.

16. stop dreading everything. it has yet to be as bad as i made it out to be.

17. trust my talent + training.

18. never stop paying it forward. who cares if they say im too nice.

19. mom + grannie + poppie won't let me fall. ever. cling to that.

20. develop my gift. passion makes perfect. passion makes purpose. 

21. never. never. never. never give up. its the only way to fail. 


to the wire.

its time. 7 days from today i plan to be in my new (next) living arrangement. i joke that im a gypsy-but its really not all that funny when the gypsy has enough shoes (heels + kicks) for a few villages. at this point im on my 6th move in 8 across the country, a couple across town + one across the ocean + back. it should be a breeze right? more like a strong wind, but change is good-prepare for it because its coming regardless. 

im getting so throwed. i aint worked this hard since i was 18. -drake

when i was 18 i was driving an hour to cleveland for all star cheerleading practice + 4 hours each way to cincinnati on the weekends for university of cincinnati's cheerleading prep clinics + dont let me forget the monthly 12-16 hour drives to virginia or florida for competitions. all in my senior year of high school. same for nba teams. orlando + indy + chicago + atlanta. more no's than yes. talk about drive. drive. thats what it takes.

ive auditioned everyday this week. i pulled out nearly my entire skillset. foxy lady + spokesmodel + actor + choreographer + popstar performer + model + dance instructor...ahem + here comes the writer. tests tests tests. but ya know what. im ready. this is when i do my best. when i feel as though i have nothing left i go all the way in. even if the average is 1 booking per 20 auditions.

photos by bernie macpro post foxy lady audition.

the universe has been given all i have and when it plays out magically like i imagine i will have a security deposit + rent + movers + if only "professional dancer + substitute dance teacher" counted as a career and had a salary to get a spot! in this industry it can change over night. i literally said those words to one of my best friends last week. the next morning i woke up to a text from her saying "im dancing on david letterman tonite with jim carey"...she went to nyc for a month on faith that she'd book something. luckily for me she did because im living in her place in la :) 

since the age of 3 when i began performing, ive been living out of bags, covered in glitter. i knew my life would be spent designing the costumes + making up the dances + posing + writing the stories + putting on the show (wearing my costumes) its how it is. its how it always was. its how it always will be. sharing my love of performing arts is not only my passion but it my purpose, for lack of a better word-its destined.

i miss being 18 when i had zero fear. zero doubt. i have to be honest im terrified-i realize my words leave me exposed  but i know someone reading this needs to be inspired, needs to believe + as long as we have people in our life who can empathize + support us in our acheivements as well as our struggles-we'll always be ok. thats my belief, its whats gotten me through. i have angels in my life, i truly do. but most importantly, i learned from them how wear my halo for the ones i love. to have a friend is to be a friend.

o and if i could survive a real life "final destination" earthquake in japan. i can survive la. and there it is. faith.


city of dreams. city of angels. 

as we close out this last day of May I reflect on what progress ive made this month, focus on the changes i need to make and implement a plan for bringing them to fruition. first up: new living environment. yesterday i moved to west hollywood to sublet my best friend from colleges spot. this is my 5th move in 7 months and counting. but for now-i have endless personal space and more time to figure it all out-that always works out well for only child bratty des. an insurmountable stress has taken over my mind but experience has taught me when it gets this heavy-i am due for some major rewards and im confident the energy ive invested is coming full circle. 

i had a record amount of auditions this month, my bookings were a little less than record breaking. i did however manage to check 5 of the 8 goals off my "speaking into existence" list and learned a thing or two about this audition scene. yes bookings are the goal-but wisdom and relationships i build in the process will last through the test of time.

all in all im grateful that im here + signed to an amazing agency + being sent out + have the faith that i stand a chance. thats what i want. a chance to claim whats mine.