Tuesday
Jan312012

faith over fear. 

we all have our fears. some valid, some equally as invalid. all equally debilitating. 

for me one of my deepest fears is showing my gift of dance. teaching is one thing, making it be about me is another. ive been dancing well over 20 years, trained in ballet, tap + jazz + hip hop, etc etc since 3. anyone who has worked with me from my college coach to my students. they ask why i don't dance the way they know i can...ALL the time. one of my biggest flaws is being so scared of being judged that i stay quiet in the back saying "just wait til they see what i can do" well. that shits done! from now on, its less fear. more follow through. 

as of lately my career has taken a turn toward my aspirations as a designer. doing so has caused me to put my focus on the creativity i have within to create something in the tangible form. something that makes people smile, feel inspired, start a memorable conversation, something that you see it at say "o wow. that's so me!" that's my perspective as a designer.

i was in Miami for a presentation, meetings were over, deals were done, i had the place all to myself. alone with my reflections of the whirlwind my life has become. mentally i had just had the 3rd version of the same disagreement with someone close. words weren't working for me anymore. i say the same thing over + over to them, then over + over again in my head. they give me a new excuse that of course i have a rebuttal for. almost an obsession. self sabotage really. with the overwhelming life changes + emotions flying i  knew needed to create. its the only way to get my mind off things...and i mean that literally. any visionary knows what i mean by the "zone". nothing else exists. hours pass due to passion. without my design materials on hand, i turned to my driving force. the reason behind most decisions ive ever made. dance.

the lyrics to "Montreal" are breathtaking. it didn't take much to get me inspired to spin, kick + leap + throw myself across the space. it was the 1st time in my life ive let go + trusted my talent. 

this video is me taking the first step in not caring what anyone thinks. not holding myself back in fear of judgment that exists mostly within my own mind. i will take a moment to say yes-i know my hair is a mess, i have on no makeup, im dancing in my underwear + my ballet teacher would roll over in her grave if she saw my technique. someone's gonna hate. but it isn't about any of that. this is about me. something i need to do more often. taking control of my life. pushing it to the limit. 

dancer or not. there's always a leap of faith to be taken.

shouts to acrylick for the gear. "love what you do & do what you love." 

 

 

Monday
Jan232012

diamond girl. 

 

introducing my newest creation. diamond girl. crystalized nude barre ™ fishnet tights. 

purchase at dbleudazzled.com or nudebarre.com

here's a promo video i did for them. shine never goes out of style. 

Saturday
Dec312011

[sweet] dream come true

On my 2011 "things i want to resolve in the new year" list i said i would pay forward some of my fave food + beauty tips. as the clock ticks i have yet to do so. until now. never late, right on time!

strawberry refrigerator cake is by far my favorite desert recipe that exists aside from high maintenance [made from scratch] hummingbird cake. i don't know anyone who doesn't love strawberries or cool whip. 

Cake:
  • 1 package of strawberry cake [cake mix requires eggs + oil]
  • 10oz of sweetened, frozen sliced strawberries. 
  • tip: thaw container in sink full of hot water while you bake :)

Topping:

  • 1 (3.4 oz) pkg vanilla instant pudding and pie filling. 
  • 1 cup milk
  • tip: i use 2 pudding mixes + 2 cups of milk +  pour 1/2 cup of pudding in cake batter to add moisture. 
  • 1 package frozen non-dairy whipped topping. 
  • tip: cool whip extra creamy is fantastic.
  • fresh strawberries [optional for garnishment]

Baking Instructions:

  1. Preheat oven to 350 ºF. Grease and flour 13x9-inch pan.
  2. For cake, prepare, bake and cool according to package directions.
  3. Poke holes in top of cake using handle from wooden spoon or straw.
  4. Puree thawed strawberries with juice in blender. Spoon evenly over top of cake allowing mixture to soak into holes.
  5. For topping, prepare pudding mix according to package directions using 1 cup milk. 
  6. Fold whipped topping into pudding mixture. Spread over cake. Garnish with fresh strawberries. 
  7. Refrigerate at least 4 hours. Don't skip this step it allows time for strawberries to settle in. 

original recipe can be found on the side of duncan hines strawberry cake or here. 

Monday
Dec052011

take a moment to keep it movin.

so lately ive been playing life coach bleu to some buddies and its ridiculous how i give the most heart felt + honest + genuine advice, but i often [never] don't take my own. here is a piece of my advice that i am not only paying forward but participating in myself. i have 4 random exercises that will for sure keep your mind in the right place. focused. all of the exercises will take a moment or 5 of your time. its up to you how much time you invest in yourself. 

 1. set your alarm for once an hour take a moment and say a little request to the man upstairs. ask for inspiration + faith. as long as you have that you will always progress. you will attract new ideas + people to help you keep it movin. any moment stagnant is a waste to the one true gift we are given. time. use yours wisely.

2. everynite i write down a few things that i am grateful for, usually things that happened that day. below are snippets of a few days just to give you ideas of all the things we should give thanks for. every once in awhile go through and read yours. stay grounded.

Gratitude List for November:

11.1.11
property owner with my poppie in florida. 
Intl commercial audition. great energy. saw erica [teammate from atlanta falcons cheerleaders 05]
checked "booked at an audition" off my life to-do list with a Shake Weight commercial. made buddies + laughed 
100% of the time. 

11.2.11
walked down "walk of fame" to work at IDA hollywood. 
beach serenity in malibu
got a callback for Intl commercial
submitted to Teen.com

11.4.11
taught amazing class with sisters from miami
fantastic call back. most fun one so far
watched documentary on Tim Gunn. legendary mentor. i wanna be like him when i grow up. have that impact

11.5.11
callback with freestyle + solo choreography
made facing my fear easier because choreographer reminded me that everyone goes through it....put. in. work

11.8.11
shot shakeweight commercial 
got 2nd callback for Intl commercial but conflicted with shoot. nature of the beast. grrrr 

11.15
grateful for the opportunity to teach at a cal state long beach. they're college dance team was my hero back in my day.
although the mike posner audish was scary, it taught me my CONSTANT need to need to let go....in front of jlo wow.
took my own advice. FACED FEAR

3. say "thank you" everytime something goes your way, take a moment to say it out loud. you make a green light, you get a perfect parking spot, you walk in a store + your favorite item is on sale....all gifts from the universe. ive been trying it for a few days, by day 3 the "thank you's" have tripled. wait for it. 

4. check your resume. seriously. go through those bullet points. think about the day you got that audition. the callback. the booking. the shoot day. the friends you made. go back to that feeling. sometimes we get so caught up in what we don't have that we don't take a moment to go through and remember our experience. i am blessed to have friends out here that have known me back from 03-05. we have all come a mighty long way. inspiring. 

Thursday
Nov172011

status driven. the Facebook + Twitter effect. 

everyday i get invites from spotify, google plus, sountracking, linkedin, etc etc wanting me to join my friends. I realize people want to be grouped with like minded people and stay connected, but its starting to feel a little forced.  you almost feel you have to be a member of all these sites just to be in the loop but this is where the lines of privacy blur. Its amazing to stay in touch + feel a part of the lives of our friends + family just by logging on or pulling up one of the many social networking apps. i cant lie, i am guilty of spending hours scrolling timelines and cruising through twitpics + facebook albums. i suck at talking on the phone so it gives me the ability to pop in on the lives of my buddies and catch up with what they've been up to. 

but in my eyes, there lies a major a downside. twitter + facebook have turned into a wide open open field of people living pretend lives, i call it keeping up appearances. of course we want everyone to think we are amazing and that we have so many friends, live such a cool life, but really its starting to turn into "look at me look at me, im so fabulous, look how much more i have than you!" yes, I have personally gotten gigs, made friends + reconnected with old ones through social networking, but i've had an equal amount of heartache because of it, some self inflicted. 

recently i had my heart trampled on via twitter + instagram. yes i know, look + you shall find, but there's something to be said about people marking territory by way of social networks. these online communities give people all kinds of keyboard courage [much like texting has] to say things they wouldn't ordinarily have the courage to say out loud, in real life. another trend thats running wild on these networks is spam, and by that i'm saying intentional mean spirited spam from faux pages made by heaux so that they can stalk + harass people they cant normally reach. 

i don't see myself deleting my facebook or twitter anytime soon, but for the sake of my sanity i'm taking a step back. not everyone has earned the right to know exactly what you are thinking, doing or saying every moment of the day, its not just the nosey stalkers + exes that are watching our every move, its the government, our bosses, our children, our mothers and our grannies. so take that into consideration before you hit "post" 

when will we stop taking something good + turning it into evil. the internet should be used to research + motivate + encourage + congratulate + inspire not to pass judgement + breed jealousy + envy + betrayal + spreading false truths.